Do you have times when you lack confidence and just don’t feel good about yourself? I can think of tons of times in my life when that was me – being bullied at school certainly didn’t help! If we allow that low self-esteem to become a long-term problem, it can do a lot of damage and leave us feeling less able than others at coping with life’s challenges. Low self-esteem often starts in childhood, our siblings, parents, friends and social media can all have a negative impact, ‘not good enough’ can become our internal mantra.
Maybe you compare yourself to others constantly, finding it difficult to live up to other people’s expectations of you or maybe even your own expectations of yourself, whichever way you look at it you are setting yourself up to fail! Avoiding putting yourself in the limelight is one way of dealing with it to keep you safe. Is it though, surely that just teaches you that the only way to cope is by avoiding things?
Living with all those doubts and fears can harm your mental health and lead to unhelpful habits such as drinking, smoking and taking drugs as a way of coping. If you’ve had enough of these feelings and behaviours then work with me to first identify them, challenge them and put them in the past where they belong so that we can boost the positive things, recognise what you’re good at, build positive relationships and start believing in yourself but most of all helping you to be kind to yourself. You too can become assertive; you don’t need to be a people pleaser you can learn to say no in a way that’s feels comfortable for you.